Cochabamba Carnival Potpourri

Readers:

This weekend is Carnival for real in Bolivia, the only four-day weekend most people here really get. Given that, and the fact that I am trapped these days in the “editing hell” that is finishing a new book, do not expect much of substance here until mid-week (we promise some meaty stuff later).

But I would not want to let you down without something to ponder. So in that spirit I bring you:

Cochabamba Carnival Potpourri

1. A Joke I Heard in La Paz

If you are a reader with a diminished sense of humor (we have some of those, really) try avoiding the use of this as evidence that I harbor secret anti-Cochabamba sentiments.

When is the best time of year to visit Cochabamba? During Carnival: the weather is great and all the Cochabambinos are in Oruro.

2. Water Gun Tip for Parents

We all know that water gun battle (or anything similar) with small children is a bit tricky. On the one hand they like to play rough, but then suddenly it all comes crashing down with a yelp of, “You squirted me in the eye!” and a fountain of tears. Okay, here is what you do. It’ll work, I guarantee it. I’ve tested this out. You turn around, bend over, point your “poto” right at her and say, “Okay, let’s see if you can hit me in the butt.” I assure you, it will work instantly and repeatedly. That’s free advice, no need to send checks.

3. Where the Hell do the Balloons Go?

An exact figure for the number of water balloons tossed and popped on the streets of Bolivia in February would be difficult to gauge. The population of Bolivia is about 9 million people. If only 1 out of every 3 tossed just one balloon, that would be 3 million tattered fragments of colored latex littering the streets of the nation. This is a conservative estimate. While it is conceivable that less than 1 in 3 Bolivians will toss a balloon this month, there are several thousand teenagers in any given city passing their quota about 50 times over.

So, where the hell do all these balloons go? For weeks I see them stuck in the cracks in the “empedrado” rock-paved streets of my neighborhood. But it’s not like last June I could still see the rubber memories of Carnival 2006. There really aren’t that many sewer systems here so they don’t get washed away into storm drains as they might in other places. Trust me, there are no big yellow street sweeping machines cruising through the hood as they did in San Francisco when I lived there (which were really a city plot, of course, to escalate the number of lucrative parking tickets).

Is there some little known “low spot” in Cochabamba where they all eventually come to rest sometime in early April? Do dogs eat them? Are they collected by the same people who gather plastic bottles, with some aim of selling them to a balloon recycler (If balloons are recyclable, I guarantee you that a Cochabambino will be the first to pull it off. Rock solid, bet on it.). Do space aliens come fetch them some early morning in late March? Honestly, I just do not know.

4. A Brief History of the Water Gun

I thought it would be nice to wrap this up with “A Brief History of the Water Gun” which I expected to find easily on the Internet. Finding no such luck I decided I could probably make up a more interesting one. Then someone else looking for one on the Internet would find this one, not read this introductory disclaimer, assume it is for real, then send it out on its way as truth. Don’t laugh, the Bush Administration wages war on flimsier evidence, no?

There are two rival reports on when firearm technology was adapted to the use of water as ammunition. The gun maker Smith and Western’s web site writes:

“In 1937 S&W weapons engineers developed an experiment that they thought would help the company refine its site mechanisms. The engineers manufactured 75 plastic versions of the company’s popular 22-caliber pistol, tooled to fire streams of water. The majority of these devices were used by shooters in S&W’s employ for target exercises that aided in the actual product’s planned 1939 redesign. However, at several S&W target facilities, employees also began engaging in water battle using the plastic models. This resulted in S&W’s licensing agreement in 1938 with Rasmark Toys to mass market the water guns as toys. In its first two years on the market the company sold more than 2.5 million pistols. Estimates are that by the end of 2007 more than 18 billion water guns (including the high powered water rifles introduced by S&W in 1946, after the end of WWII) making it among the ten most purchased items of the American household."

Alternatively, this entry appears in the Encyclopedia Americana’s 1991 edition article under the heading: Water Guns:

“Water guns made their first large-scale appearance in the late 1930s, following the Swedish Olympic Luge team’s first entry in competition in the Lake Placid games in 1936. The team’s coach, Lars Ahlstrom, known among his coaching colleagues as being a particularly brutal head of team, had a British gun manufacturer produce a plastic model that could fire short water streams. During the rigorous pre-Olympic training by the Luge team, carried out in subzero temperatures at a practice camp outside Stockholm, Ahlstrom would discipline slower team members by squirting them in the face, sending a stream of water down their shirts freezing solid within 10-20 seconds.

A pair of engineers from a US gun manufacturer reportedly saw the device in use at the Lake Placid games (where the Swedish team took the Bronze medal) and secured a US patent. Ahlstom later sought $3 million in damages against the Smith and Wesson Company in 1947 in civil court in Ohio, which was settled by the company for an undisclosed sum and an agreement that S&W would become the official sponsor of the Swedish Luge team, which it remains, as of this writing."