The Do's and Don'ts of Water Balloon Warfare in Cochabamba

Readers,

Cochabamba, since the start of the year, has been dominated by politics and conflict, and in turn so has our content on the Blog. It appears that this has led some of our readers to believe that it is our responsibility here to write about every political development in Bolivia. It isn't.

We write about political matters that we have enough information to write about knowledgably, and a lot falls outside of those limits. Readers hoping for a daily news service on Bolivia would do better to look at COMTECO's useful daily list (with links) to articles in the country's major daily papers (here's the link).

So with that in mind we bring you information that is key to all residents of Cochabamba this weekend:

DO'S AND DON'TS FOR AVOIDING GET WIPED OUT BY WATER BALOONS

Do have your four-year-old daughter in your arms if you must pass through one of the main water battle zones, such as the Prado. Water bombers generally respect the sanctity of small children.

Do not walk within 10 yards of your 20-year-old daughter if you enter one of these areas. She is a target and you will be too.

Do, if you go to a water battle zone alone, walk quickly and keep eye contact with potential assailants.

Do not walk through these areas yelling loudly, "Hey, doesn’t anyone notice that I'm a gringo?!"

Do consider wearing a rain jacket and pretend that you thought that, well, it could rain later today.

Do not carry a water balloon in your hand, unless you mean it and are ready for what comes.

Do keep an eye out for those wildly treacherous cans of spray foam, which will make you wish you had only gotten bombed with five buckets of water.

Do not walk up to the 10-year-old neighbor who has one and ask him to show you how it works. He will.

Do be sure to buy a water rifle with enough range and storage capacity to hold your own against the kids on your block, and the trufi drivers if you live near the end of the line stop, as we do.

Do not mistakenly lock yourself out of your house as you charge into battle. It will get ugly, mighty ugly when you are running for cover with your empty water gun and you suddenly find yourself muttering, "Crap, my house keys."

Do stand in awe of the six-year-old boy who can catch in tact, in his baseball cap, your excellently aimed balloons.

Do not wait around to see if he plans to throw them back at you. He does.

Do enjoy yourself in that odd Cochabamba tradition of dousing neighbors, your family and total strangers (as they do the same to you).

Do not say yes when that neighbor with the pick-up truck offers, "Hey wanna ride in the back?"

[Readers: Do feel free to add your own suggestions as well.]